New Things, old things

My new desktop will be on my desk (must remove clutter) tomorrow, if I’m lucky, or at the beginning of the next week.

I’ve been saving money for a long time, because I didn’t want to run out of cash, so I wanted to have MORE then the computer price, before buying it. But, after my kitten’s death (excuses, excuses) I needed something to cheer me up, so I bought the new computer, spending till the last cent.

Of course my parents still have some of my money, they said they’ll try to give it back to me little by little …. blah. At least I hope I’ll have it back when I finish my studies, since I NEED to move out.

For what concernes studies, I graduated (3 years degree) 1 year and a month ago, I should be halfway in my exams … but I’m not … I’m being a lot slow.

I know part of it is caused by depression, I’ve been not taking meddies from november to march, and this is not so good … caused me a lot of inability to concentrate, but now I hope I’ll be productive again.

I’ve also had a lot of health problems, so I had to go to the E.R. and to some private doctors etc … to check my heart, muscles etc… thank god heart was ok, it was just muscles near it hurting like hell.

So now I need to: have a surgery to my nose because I can’t breath properly (not deviated septum … I dunno the name of it … nothing special, won’t make me look different), and buy new glasses (bought old ones in june … but I can’t see anything, going worse everyday).

Problem is … I have no time for the surgery and I’ve no money for the glasses.

Of course I had the “must buy new glasses” news after I bought the computer.

Glasses money will be back in my pocket next year – private medical expences returns!! – (since I’m not going to buy D&G glasses, I just want new lenses for the old ones), but I don’t have it right now, so I’ve to wait a month or more.

Today I didn’t study muh because I was very sleepy, I’ve been to a party yesterday. I can’t say I had a lot of fun, but it is important to go out and meet people. Tonight I did not go out because my friend E. is on a date with her boyfriend, A. is sick and I don’t feel like calling L., even because she loves carribean dances, that I hate.

I hope I’ll go out tomorrow, but in a cheap place, since last saturday I had to stay home because friends went in an expansive club I could not afford.

I’m starting to be annoyed of being the youngest one, the others have jobs and still live with parents, so they can spend money. I don’t have a job and I hate to ask my parents for money. I did some baysitting lately, I hate it, but that’s all I can get if I want to study full time.

Messy-Cat

Yesterday Messy has been hitten by a car. She died.

I’m sad in an umbelivable way, I know a lot of people think she was “just a pet”, but she was my pet, and I did everything for her, I loved her, she gave me happyness.

House is empity without her.

R.I.P. beloved kitten.

Job

They wanted me to work everyday of the week from 2 pm to 7 pm, and 2 hours in sunday morning …. for …. 200 euro per month …. crazy! PER MONTH! I knew they don’t pay a lot, but this is ridiculous. I refused of course.

Money and family

I’ve been saving money for a long time, unlike my sister that spends everything that she gets.

I’m to the point I can buy a new computer (actually I could buy 2 very good computers or 3 kinda good ones), BUT … my lovely parents asked me to loan them the money, because they manage to be always broke, always. They already had 2000 € and if they don’t give me at least a part of the money back I can’t proceed into buying the computer, also some money i was wating for from university is late, so I’m kinda pissy about it, since i’ve been not buying myself anything, to save, save, save.
Tomorrow I’ve a job interview, it’s for a “call center operator” work, so I’m not sure I’d like to do it, they tend to pay nothing for a very stressfull work, and even if i pass the interview I’ll have to see what part-time would they offer me, eventually refuse too, afterall school is the first thing for me, because I’d prefer to leave my money-sucking family as soon as I can then earning a little money and having to live with them for a longer time. (No way I could survive with the money the call center would give me, I already know this).

Meddies

I’ve been sick, in the body and in the soul.

Body sickness was nothing to worry about, muscular pain, I went to the ER on monday night, because it was too strong, they also did me an ECG to be sure my heart was not the cause of the pain.

Soul sickness is always here, and I started to take a new meddie, an SSRI, again, but different from the one I used to take.

Doctor said I have to take it for at least one year. I only want to be fine.

Today, since I could not study because Marianna forgot to bring me back my books, I made 5 liters (about 170 oz, for the US readers) of Chocolate Liquour. I love it. But it’s too much. I think I’ll give some bottles away. Now I should buy some new Pure Alcohol, to do Limoncello.