I can see I’m happy, I’ve been happy lately.
It’s not the kind of hyper happyness i was used too, it’s just something more calm, the fact I know actually nothing is really bad, so I can be happy because nothing is really bad right now.
I am trying to ignore my university stress, and it’s a huge thing to be ignored, but I don’t want it to get me and destroy me.
Looking towards more happy days.
Something happened that confused me, a lot, and I can’t stop thinking about it and thinking I acted in a bad way and made someone suffer.
I can’t lie to my self and had to act this way, but still …. I know nothing of what’s going on inside my head.
Sometimes you think you are over it, you are fine now, instead you recognize that the minimum chabge, the minimum little non perfect thing, can bring you down again.
I know I’m not safe, I’m still walking on a rope, I learnt to do it better and it seems I can’t fall, but I can.
I don’t want time to turn back and bring me again to what I used to be, I have to fight this, but the main problem is that the reason of all this is still there, and I don’t think I can be totally safe till I don’t solve the problem at the root.
I’m back from my short visit to Zurich. It’s been really interesting, and when the university-related interested stuff ended in the afternoons, I had a lot of fun going around the city with my “friends”.
And I say “friends” because they were mostly people I used to met only at lessons and never go out with them outside university, but we mixed and matched pretty well, I aslo met some nice guys from the 3 years degree I had never seen before, really funny, made me laugh a lot.
Too bad I had no camera, so now I only have to wait for the others to give me pics they took, wishing I don’t look too bad in them (but afterall .. it’s me .. so it must be some sort of bad looking).
I’ve been really surprised by the fact that Zurich is kinda dead at night (during the week) … here if you go out at midnight you find opened bars, pubs and people there, also on monday, there … nothing … all closed … we had to wait for friday to go to a nice bar and got drunk (aaaah … wine … I know, being in Switzerland I should have taken beer, but I love wine).
Aside from being dead at night, the city is really nice, and is good at 7 pm .. it’s all crowded, full of people, and saturday morning it was nice too … too bad I could not see it saturday night .. I’m sure it’d have been a good experience … well .. maybe I’ll turn back there, one day …
